How to recognise Evil Animals

Evil Cow - Easily recognised by the fact that it is one of the largest evil animals. Often goes 'MOOooOOoo' in an attempt to communicate it's disgust for mankind. Evil Cow is usually covered in sh*t, as this evil animal seems unable to keep its backside clean. Evil Cow prefers not to kill its victims, instead it seems to suck outtheir mental capacity, leaving the victim a gibbering maniac.

Evil Dog - Can come in many sizes, but always recognised by its unique 'Woof'. Evil Dog always has four feet, and if it doesnt, watch out, it'll undoubtedly be in a bad mood. Evil Dog is often known to warn people of its attack by the swishing backwards and forwards of its tail.

Evil Rabbit - A small furry creature that hops about on the ground. Never be taken in by its loppy ears, because its an unknown fact that those ears can hear you breathing from up to a mile away. This is how Evil Rabbit tracks its victims.

Evil Rat - An elusive and very small evil animal, it patters about in sewers and underground. Because this evil animal is already quite disliked, it has to rely on its cunning to take down its prey. Often it traps innocent humans by setting out traps for them, an example is the classic 'man-trap', whereby the rat can devour its victims in its own time.

Evil Duck - Evil Duck is quite small, and often uses the fact that it can fly to great advantage. It has webbed feet that are specially designed to grip onto skin, thus allowing the duck to drag its prey underwater. Evil Duck often resides in major parks around the world, pretending to be sweet and nice, but when night comes, its true nature comes out.